Melancolía

Hoy que ya pasó toda la celebración del Nacimiento de Cristo en nuestras vidas nuevamente y que arrullé al niñito Dios en mis brazos..... sentí mucha emoción, sin embargo una nostalgia inmensa me invadió y no pude ni si quiera expresarla con lágrimas.... fué repentina y a la vez tan rápido pasó el momento que los abrazos, el teléfono, radio, cena, etc.... hicieron que este sentimiento de nostalgia desapareciera.....

Al siguiente día pusimos la película de Walt Disney de UP y ahí si lloré como bebé.. me dió tanta ternura que no pude contener mis sentimientos y todo mundo burlándose como siempre de mí....

La despedida de mi Tía Lolita, fué triste, ella nos dió la bendición a todos y empezó a llorar y yo le hice segunda.....

Llegué a mi casa, me bañé, arreglé y me fuí a comer con mi hermana, después regresé a la ciudad y mi amigo de antaño me llamó, nos tomamos un café y me regaló un cd muy bonito.... siempre con detalles hermosos.... lástima que no puedo ya sentir nada por él más que cariño.....

Gracias Dios mío por este día y por todo el fin de semana. Bendice a todos mis seres queridos y protégelos del mal.
Te ama tu hija Marilú!

anyway - martina mcbride

Yesterday

My old good friend Rob invited Chel.. and I for dinner and I hadn´t seen him in about 20 years... it was so wierd to see him again but such a great experience... we were thrilled making fun of the past... I played his serenate on tape and he was singing and saying some words to me and I was thanking him... all this recorded on an old tape .... we laughed so hard.... he kept saying that I owe him a kiss that I have never given him so I laughed again and said I would give it to him some day....

Then my other friend A. came over, he is such a cute guy, so different from anyone else I´ve met... I am not in love... I am just enjoying his presence, he is simply a nice friend and nice companionship to have... right now there is a moving playing on tv called the last love.... so I am going to shut this computer off and watch this movie....

Thank you Lord for this past weekend.... it was such a nice and different weekend. I keep loving life and there is no way I can express how greatful I am with you my God for giving me so much love!

This past weekend

Well I can say this past weekend was a very relaxing one, however a few exciting things happened.

My friend Silvia came over to watch movies and slept over on Friday and we stayed nice in warm.

On Saturday morning we made breakfast and had a nice chat about different subjects. Then she watched movies while I posted pictures on facebook.

After that, my friend RM came to pick me up and took me to pick up my car. We also went to the mall and to the shoe mall outlet. We also went to campestre mall to eat and our friend A. joined us. He was very quiet.. I think he is quiet and shy...interesting .......

At night I went with J.M. and RM and S. told a 50 years birthday party and we danced and sang. I saw my old boss from Hotel Leon and said hello to him and I saw a singer who had promissed me to be a model for pictures of his cd when I was 17 years old and I approached him and said:_
I am still waiting for you to pick me up to have the pictures taken for your cd and he just burst laughing and so did I.

J.M. was very nice, gentleman, not so quiet and had a nice time. I saw friends from High School and we all danced together and chatted about old days....

This morning I went to COSTCO and surprise surprise my debit cards didn´t have enough fundings and I felt so embarrassed about it..... however I canceled everything except the most important things and moved on.... my reflection about this is that I was going to spend on unnecessary things... so good think I had to cancel them.... I have to become aware of all the expenses and income I have and watch carefully every penny.... winter is comming and heat bill goes up.....

Thank you Lord for this day!

My car broke down

What an experience....my car broke down right before I arrived to my birthday party last Friday Oct. 29th. I left it on the street and our friend Sergio, picked Rosa Mary and I up and took us to the party.

At the party were people I was not expecting and I had a lot of fun and greatful time.
We sang, danced and chit chat, ate and everything was very healthy. Nice crowd.

Thank you Lord for this weekend which JM showed me his gratitude picking me up on Saturday and taking me to the grocery store, and also picking me up on Sunday to take me for breakfast and also went to church... and not only that but Chelina picking me up and went to the movie theatre and slept over her place and then she dropped me off today and had a great time with her and her kids.

Thank you my God, you never leave me alone!

Love your daughter Marilu!

Cañada de Negros

Me la pasé increíble hoy en familia de mi amiga!!! y sus tres hijos y esposo. Hace mucho que no respiraba tanta paz. Columpios, resbaladillas, tiroleza, laguito, lienzo, paisajes y paz, mucha paz!

My Reflection, my other half...

I think about you and a smile comes up into my lips. You say things that I had in the back of my mind.

The fear shows up rather quickly because I am used to live the way I do... alone, no one to take care of or do things for... it does take an effort to make a relationship work and to plant the seed and then water it until it harvests......

You definetly drive me crazy.... I mean it.... you act or behave one way when I expect another and all I can see in you is someone very cautious....

Is it maybe that you care about me and don´t want me to fall in love with you? What is it? Is someone else around competing with me?

Is it your past that doesn´t let you move on?

I understand you because my past also comes up many times... I compare you with the other one I had around, I feel unsure of what to do or not do, say or not say....

I think I am compatible with your way of thinking.... I don´t like a few things about you but no one in this world is perfect... I just would love to know what do you think about me? what is in your brain?

God please keep me calm and remind me every day that nothing will happen unless it is your will.

To my other friend!

I just want to let you know that you are taking a special place in my heart, and you may never know it because I am not planning to let it out. Well, you have awaken my desire to become a better person and to have something to look forward to. I find in you a reflection of me ... you said yesterday that I am not finding my place and that is what you might be going through... you are just feeling that way and you think I might feel that way... so I answered yes... I don´t know where I am going or where my place would be...however, I think I do.... I definitely think that I must use my talents towards the world´s benefit and not only mine.... I must go out of myself and be the same given person I used to be. I would give you time, because I think you are worth it for who you are. And I have not idea about your past.... and don´t know If I even care... I just want you to be in peace with yourself and to move on from where you are. To let it go and be yourself.

Anyhow.....as I said, you may never know about this letter, however I have taken it out of my chest and I am very thankful to God for have allowed me to meet you and to learn from you what I have always wanted...Respect! and more Respect! mind you..... sometimes your bitterness comes out and you take it out on me, which is not fare, but I will keep praying for you and to God for your sorrow to pass by ...... If I am not the one for you or you for me... I want to keep you as a friend because you are worth it!

Love you already!

Around the Corner

Today a loved friend of mine said to me that my love is around the corner and left me thinking.... it is a nice phrase of hope.

I wonder who could that be..... really I have not idea.... it could be someone I know about already or that I am going out with or that I am just about to meet.

The reality is that as time goes by, I try to analyze more and more, to think and think more and I am wondering if I am doing the right thing... I just think sometimes that following your heart is the best thing you can do or I can do but because I´ve been hurt so much and so many times I am pretty scared.

By the way, today I had the cutest students a girl called Ale of 7 years old and a boy called Juan Pablo of 8 years old. Anyhow, they are smart learning ESL and very talkative, they were happy asking me questions about my life never mind about the class and I kept bringing them back to the English Grammar part... finally they got their way at the end of the class and I answered their questions about my personal life, but they didn´t end.... so I learned from them to be more curious......and ask more questions....

Thank you for this day Lord.

New ilusion... prospect... guy...

Well I´ve met this guy at a Wedding. He is cute, nice, well educated and great manners. Hard working, funny..... what else can I say.... I am fighting against falling in love this time... can´t afford another heart braken experience... so I am taking it very slowly, very cool and really smart this time!

What belongs to you by divine right, no one can take it away from you......!

All it takes...

All it takes is an extra effort every day and setting goals for yourself. For years I have been playing to be smart and guess what? what I really enjoy doing is singing and not playing it that smart...interesting discovery ah?


I think I have discovered the reason why that guy keeps being around... he is a reflection of myself somehow... should I describe him? Sweet, smart, and passionate about life and many things. Pretty hurt and also looking for love but doesn´t know how to show it and how to let it go....

For the time being, I am certain that this time I have let him go.... can´t waste my time around someone who does not share the same interest than me.

Thank you God for letting me know the hard way about what I am not suppose to have!

Experience during the past 5 days!

Where to start? The most exciting thing has been my course about Executive Successful Program and it is about becoming a new person and re-evaluating my thoughts and values.

Great program!

It will end tomorrow, so for now I will go to bed.

Thank you God for giving me this opportunity to discover new things about life and about my self! Thank you also for giving me the opportunity to see that person I hadn´t seen for 6 months... I still think that he is around me to teach me something but don´t know yet what!???

Good night God!

Libro: Cuando me encuentro con el Capitán Garfio.. No me engancho

_Tengo mucha ilusión de aprender algo nuevo del libro que acabo de adquirir en la Feria del Libro el día de hoy.

Estuve un poco deshidratada y cansada, pero después se me quitó. No he dejado de pensar en esa personita, sobre todo después de ver una película que se relaciona tanto a su caso... en fin, cada vez me acerco más a cumplir mi sueño de publicar mi experiencia en el extranjero y las recomendaciones que les doy a todos aquellos que quieren mudarse a otro país.

Me encontré a uno de mis ex-lumnos de Canada y me saludó muy lindo y presentó a su esposa y a sus tres hijos. wowow qué rápido se va el tiempo..me reiteró que quiere irse a vivir a Vancouver, y yo le recordé que la vida lejos de la familia y tu cultura es algo de mucho reto. En fin, no lo pude convencer, al contrario, el me dijo, ya no les digas que yo estoy tratando de convencerlos. En el rostro de ella noté preocupación al respecto.... en fin. Nadie experimenta en cabeza ajena y a muchos les va muy bien. A mí también me fué bien pero en qué aspecto? de qué estamos hablando? cuál es tu enfoque en la vida?

Gracias Dios mío por este día!

New Venture and New Adventure

Next week I will start teaching to business people, which is quite exciting. I must prepare all new info and get to it soon!

One more Daddy´s Death Anniversary

It is going to be 3 years dad´s death anniversary. It feels almost like if it was yesterday, today I passed through the funera home where he was before his cremation and I felt a knot on my throat. Everyone asks me why his pictures are everywhere in my house and my mother´s too but not as many.... I truly couldn´t give you an answer... Maybe this helps me to cope each day without his physical presence and at the same time, it reminds me all his love.

I can´t imagine the pain of oneself can go through when your loved one has died on your arms. I didn´t see either my mom or dad died and even then the pain continues.


I pray to God for those ones who are going through this pain and for them to find peace and happiness once again.

I must go to bed and have a good rest. Thank you Lord for this day!

Todavía quedan restos...algunos recuerdos...

Lo que no puedo dejar ir son los recuerdos. Esos definitivamente me están matando y ahogando en lágrimas que no pueden salir.

El recordar a tu hijo más pequeño haciendome dibujitos, abrazándome diciéndonos que nos quiere de aquí hasta el cielo, de verdad que se me hace un nudo enorme en la garganta.

No entiendo el por que te alejaste tan repentinamente de mí. Quisiera entenderlo por la petición que le hice a Dios pero en verdad mi humanidad no llega a entenderlo.

No me queda más que seguir mi camino y que tu sigas el tuyo... no quiero estar atada a un recuerdo, fué bello y lo disfruté. Que Dios te bendiga y que te encuentres de verdad a alguien que valga la pena. Por mi parte sé que Dios me ha puesto ésta prueba tan dura porque siempre he pedido mi propia familia y estaba dispuesta a formar o intentar formar una familia contigo....creo que me equivoqué ....creo que no soy tan fuerte para esto....creo que no soy lo suficientemente paciente.....creo que ya entendí el por qué te cruzaste en mi camino..... Me veniste a motivar y a sacar de seguir aumentando de peso... me motivaste a tal grado que me puse a dieta y a hacer ejercicio....agarré la guitarra nuevamente... me empecé a comprar ropa más moderna... al final de cuentas esto quedará.... y lo demás se borrará--...sigo luchando con ser más ordenada en mis ideas y en mis cosas. Mil Gracias nuevamente a ti humano y a Dios por haberme permitido esta vivencia en mi vida. Te pido por mi hermano que está enfermo y por mi cuñada también.

Plan C....

In the mean time, I have left another group and only teaching one group.

I am promoting my friend´s courses and my own English courses to company employees.

I am exercising and reading every day.

Singing....maybe....
Writing...for sure....
Travelling.....for sure.....

Thinking about taking the export opportunity in Tizzimin (mayan community)....maybe.....crazy....for sure.... what is God asking for me? what way should I go to?
This puzzle is getting together and I am finding its pieces one by one... still missing pieces....

Plan B... Reflexion...

It has been a long time since I´ve wanted to set up my own company and also to quit teaching at Universities.

I know that while being in despair should not make any decisions....

Anyway, I must think through what I want to do and how since time is running and I am not getting anywhere.

Dejándote Ir

Pues bien, hoy he decidido dejarte ir. Si amas algo, déjalo libre, si vuelve a tí es tuyo y si no, nunca lo fué. Que tan cierto será este dicho?

Lo que si siento y presiento es que estarás siempre en mi corazón y mente.... como pocos amigos que han dejado huella... tu esencia es tan diferente a las demás....será que estoy enamorada? enamorada de ti o del amor?

Pasé una de las mejores veladas de toda mi vida, con una paz y tranquilidad que no se puede comprar.

Ahora bien, al dejarte ir quiero hacerme consciente de que se lo dejaré todo al tiempo.......y obviamente a Dios.....

Por otra parte tengo que discernir y hacerme conciencia de qué es lo quiero en mi vida.... a qué persona quiero y si es que quiero a alguien...... y por qué lo deseo...

Si en realidad soy tan Feliz con esta libertad que tengo.... por qué me aferro a tener a alguien a mi lado?

Hoy por hoy te he dejado volar..... no puedo decir nada más solo que te deseo que encuentres a la pareja ideal y que en verdad te quiera por lo que eres como yo te quiero y que en verdad se lleven bien.... una persona que busque un macho mexicano y que no sea independiente.... definitivamente esa no soy yo.... agraciadamente nací sola y moriré sola y volaré sola! Me oigo como amargada... ja ja ja ....no en verdad no tengo ni un pelo de rana de amargura.... Estoy agradecida con Dios y contigo por lo que me hiciste sentir nuevamente....un amor puro y una ilusión por la vida..... Que Dios te bendiga por ser tan sincero y tan directo y respetuoso.... No cabe duda que puedo decir que en verdad te admiro y te quiero....pase lo que pase siempre te llevaré en mi corazón y recordaré la última velada como algo más que sagrado!

Interesting week and weekend

Oh my Goodness, last week was such a different week, on Monday I went to the fair with my niece and went on the rides and bought a few things for the house.

Tuesday I worked all day long.
Wednesday, I didn´t work, because it was a holiday and I went to Silao with my friend to eat, then I had a committee meeting at the Jassa Institute.

Thursday I worked all day and then I went to watch Yuri´s show at the Palenque.

Friday Saturday and Sunday went to Mexico City and met very nice people.......a nice married couple and also a great pair of girls. One Leonor from Veracruz and another Laura from Chihuahua.

On the way back Pily and I went to the bullfight and then went out for dinner.

When I arrived home, C. called me and talked to him for about 2 hours. Then I fell asleep.

Today Monday was a great day at work with student´s activities and at UIA went nice talking to Irlanda about decisions.... how do you take decisions.... based on your ego or based on love.....
very very interesting chat.

I arrived home waiting on C. who never arrived, then I phoned and asked him if he would and his voice shaked and said no... I will be going home to sleep.

I felt horrible and think that he just doesn´t care and it is okay that way.... Lord is all on your hands... all of it.. I have zero control of things.

Thank you for all these past days.
Love your daugther Marilu

Propósitos para 2010

El primer propósito será profesional. Haré una investigación de mercado acerca de la necesidad que tienen las empresas leonesas y guanajuatenses de estudiar el Ingles o de capacitar a sus empleados.

El segundo será continuar hacer ejercicio en algún Club cercano a mi colonia y comer saludable.

El tercero, meterme a academia de baile y de idiomas y estudiar frances y-o italiano.

El cuarto, fomentar amistades y abrirme a nuevas amistades.

El quinto, viajar mas este año, cumplir mi sueño de viaje a Europa en tour con o sin compañía!

El sexto, entrar o dirigir algun coro de iglesia.

El Septimo, cumplir con organización de eventos de ex-alumnas del jassa.