Desahogo!

Pues sigo sin entender los designios de Dios ni mi mision en esta vida........
Se que hay algo muy bueno para mi por ahi pero donde? cuando? a que hora Dios mio?

Entiendo que yo te pedí deshacerme de relaciones abusivas y enfermizas y que es natural que ahora siga extrañando a la compañía que tuve por 2 meses... que rápido se va el tiempo... NO lo entiendo... me dijo que nos dejaramos de ver por dos semanas para así poder definir nuestros sentimientos del uno para el otro. Yo le dije claramente que no se hiciera ilusiones conmigo porque me parece una persona muy diferente a mi y negativa con muchos resentimientos. El no lo entendió asi, el me dijo y quiso hacer creer que yo no se que es lo que quiero cuando yo insisto y quiero a alguien honesto, que me pueda dar una familia sana y que tenga valores morales.

Me confundió toda... me seguía haciendo cariñitos y quería incluso besarme pero a la vez sentí que quiso decirme que está enamorado de otra y no quiere herirme al decirmelo porque el es simplemente asi... mentiroso...

A la vez me hizo sentir nuevamente como la mejor de este mundo diciendome que estoy en muy buena edad, que le encanto de todo a todo....que onda? no entiendo nada pero si entiendo mi petición hacia ti Dios mío.... yo te pedí que me alejaras de cualquier persona que no me va a hacer bien .... es tan difícil distinguir si me hace bien o no....lo extraño es natural... y pues que le voy hacer sino solo confiar en tí mi Dios.... Estoy un poquito herida del orgullo y ciertamente siento celos... casi no sentía celos... es más no recuerdo sentir celos de nadie más que de Graham y ahora Frank ...será que estoy empezando a sentir algo muy especial que nunca habia sentido.... o será que siempre he sido así pero que a JOHN JAMAS LO CELE...?

Bueno pues ya me desahogue y tambien quiero que me traigan serenata... será parte de mi orgullo..saber que soy yo la elegida y no otra? es o será un capricho? a quién quiero... por otra partes no se me olvida mi guitarrista cantor....cuánto tiempo de conocernos.....que será de el... que pensará...me extrañará como yo a él?

Estoy tratando de hacer demasiado?

Pues no dejo de correr desde que amanezco y me levanto hasta que me duermo nuevamente.... Me siento agotada... ya me tomo unas vitaminas, clorofila, etc.
Mi mente no deja de pensar en miles de cosas a la vez y cuando el dia se fué, todavia me quedan pendientes de meses anteriores.

Hay varias personas que me han consumido mi tiempo pero porque yo lo he permitido..

No dejaré que esto pase más. Ya basta!!! enough is enough!

Prepararé mis clases como se debe y las ordenaré papel tras papel.....

Si el estar tratando de encontrar la casa que quiero y lo que de verdad quiero y a la vez lidiar con el cheque perdido de NISSAN y el cheque mal hecho de ING....., las cuentas bancarias.... etc. Estoy simplemente agotada.

Pero de hoy en adelante, La Independencia de Mexico será también mi independencia y me librare de gente mentirosa como Frank, como no se quien mas...... y de gente rara como... el que pienso que es joto.. pero que estoy haciendo yo para atraer a este tipo de personas a mi vida y por que me permito involucrarme tratando de ayudarlas a tal grado que despues ya me siento triste por su ausencia aun cuando yo se que no es alguien bueno para mí.

Dios mío ayudame a ser fuerte y ya no permitirme yo ni a nadie pasarse del limite y ademas tomarme como burla.

What do you want from me God?

I have 3 close friends with cancer right now..... God what are you asking from me? one lives in Canada and the other two are here in Leon, Gto... I have dealt a lot with people that suffered cancer, my sister and my mother to start with and so on.

I try to keep them happy and make them feel useful and show my support.... however, it is quite hard task to do.

One friend who has cancer as well, had a heart attack.... I felt awful since there is a long story behind this one.. and the conclusion is that I went to see him today and realized all the people that love him,... he was feeling lonely and alone a week ago when he discovered his cancer in his lungs due to smoke...well... today the hospital was packed and the line up huge to see him.... when I entered into the room there is this ladie that I hadn´t seen and wasn´t from the family.....his lips had lipstick and I kind of thought to myself... oh this one must be the exwife... so I waited a bit until they said good bye to each other and she kissed him again on the lips... I only stood up there watching and I gave him a kiss on his forehead as a frienship sign to remark this to him. We hardly talked because then his cell phone rang... even though he is in intensive care... right after another girl came in.... must be the exgirlfriend... I had to laugh and then I gave him a rock with the word HOPE and I convinced him about not leaving the hospital and changed his mind. I said it is wise to change his mind.. and he said... muñeca I will never win with you... and I said that´s right. So I found out he hasn´t told his family about his cancer and doesn´t want me to tell his family, so having said that... I will step away completley and let him go on that way. But God, what do you really want from me in this case? He knows that I have a boyfriend in California... and he also knows that there is no chance on earth with me and with what I saw today ..... even worse... it will make it easy though on me to keep him away from me....so I guess this scene at the hospital was meant to be... just on time!
Keep him healthy God and I do Thank you for the happiness and lesson that I have learned from this man.... he is definetly something else and someone who does not take care of himself in the interior or in his soul... yet he does look very good on the outside and dressed up... bla bla bla selfish as other man I have met, but in the inside he is totally empty...oh he did say today that this heart attack is a wake up call and he will listen this time...I said yes... God is giving you another chance and you must take it seriously.

I don´t know why I go through this experiences with friends that have cancer... perhaps I do have to go through test myself since it´s been a long time since I did my last test for cancer.. and it runs in my family.....

My brother´s concrert was amazing and my sister and him ended up singing and I sang at the end with the piano player.... great contact since she suggested I should sing around the City and also to talk to her on the 11th her birthday.... Thanks for this too God.


Good night God and thank you for this day....

Trip on a Boat in Huatulco!

This was Awesome! great environment! I was amazed by the organization of this Tour.. .Magnitur and we left all our staff on the boat while we went snorkling and when we came back, nothing was missing from our bags... I was leary to do so but I risked it and left it all there.... I am proud of all the people that is in charge of this tour.

Huatulco it is and oh my Goodness look at this!

My sister and I were supposed to go to Bahamas and we ended up in Huatulco but we have no regrets. We loved it and I felt in love with someone very special! Oh my Goodness. Except... he is from Oaxaca but lives in the U.S. we can´t stop calling each other since...oh he came back to Huatulco 3 times after he had left the hotel... he flew from Oaxaca again the night before I left, brought me a beautiful present and also thought about my sister and brought her a present too. We danced great, couldn´t stop laughing, and that was a short period of time .... no more comments....

Nothing more to say.....We are toasted with the sun and we absolutley enjoyed ourselves.

Pictures and video to follow....

Visit Huatulco, it is worth it!

Cool Reactions to little accidents...

Today getting dressed up and spiced up by my sister in law and borrowing my nieces belt......oooooppppssss the belt ripped around my waist.... oh my God I thought she would be mad and she would be so angry... I was embarrassed....she came into the bedroom and started laughing stating Ay Tia don´t you worry.... !!!! please don´t that belt is replaceble and I don´t wear it that much anyway.. so I said I would buy her a new one and keep that one..... so I ended up wearing it and tried it in a different way. I loved her reaction about it and about life. So simple and nice. Even though I know it is only a belt, you never know how people will react. We´ve laughed about the belt all day long, sang Karaoke and had fun all the way. Love her to death. And she is picking right beside me watching what I write, and here comes my brother now.... ha ha ha hahahha h.... good night. The dunky was watching too.. her favoritew dunky that her friend gave her in Miami trip! Makes me laugh so hard... she sleeps with it all night long.. that thing would scare me in the middle of the night!

New Adventures New Hope!

I have a new job and now I am planning to do another trip to Bahamas in a Cruise or to Southamerica before I start working again!

I am also reading several books at the time. One is about the meaning of silence. It is made on rhymes and it is awesome! I can´t remember the author but it is in Spanish.

I will have my own website to promote my own business and continue my dream as a self employer.

I have a lot to accomplish.

I am doing Belly Dancing and enjoying it.

I am counting my blessings every day. I saw my friend Yossy and Judith today good very good friends oh my goodness... !! They have always been there any time in good times and bad times. Yossy was borned on the same date I was borned but one year younger.

We were remembering our old times when we were the boss in romantic bars asking for every single song we wanted and were laughing our head off.....!

The time ran by and couldn´t talk more because both of them have kids and husbands to go back to... I don´t so I went back to make supper and do some shopping....oh well more kitchen stuff to buy... what else is new....

Good night to all....